Sept. 04, 2004 - 11:30 p.m.
Well i just got back from youth service, pretty late for me to come back but ya! went to eat supper with leonard heng. So got back abit later! well, ive gotta say that the atmosphere of worship in the scanturary is really much better as compared to that of the 4th floor. but that isnt the real importance i guess, but being for once in a long time i felt God's Presence around me. Eventhough i was standing alone, didnt matter, cause he was there next to me thru' out ever minute of that worship session. Thus i was never once alone:). Often we go to church in hope of being entertained, in the worship to perk us up, gettin' us to "feel" God, and when sermon comes everyone is sian diao! but dont you often hear the worship leader say "Sing it to The Lord" instead of "let sing it unto us" ? Sitting there alot of things ran thru' my mind? It wasn't the sermon that touched me, but just sitting there and enjoying the presence of the Lord. It's true, and i say it with conviction that "one day in the hse of the Lord is better than a thousand days in the world". More often than not we go to church missing out the point of going to church, it's not to see your friends, it's not to show your face and hope some cute guy/girl looks your way? it's definitely not to go make more friends, but enjoy the presence of God's Children worshiping in one accord. Simple isnt it? It's so simple that we over look it? I over looked it.
I personally have mixed thoughs about youth service moving to saturday, saturday's like my "kai kai"(walk walk) day? to hang out with my bros and fwends, play some ball, look at some chicks? perhaps haf a hot date (hasnt happened for awhile so forget it!)? But looking at today's turn out, it wasnt that bad? guess i was just being skeptical all along? I may sound all holy and stuff, but i know im far from that? Im just touched by the presence of God dats all, and i missed that feeling, for those whom are christian (believers of christ), you shld just try to have such a time to feel his presence. I cant put it down in words, but i can just say it's like a feeling of the warmest hug you can ever wish for? Well, i hope youth service on saturdays will work out. Im still thinking of changing churches, but guess im lazy and have too much to leave behind in plmc. Spend all my life dere :) im thinking abt it neveraless..
It's pretty hard to understand what ive typed above, it doesnt matter if you dont ya :)! doesnt mean ya dumb! ;p just means wad ever i typed cld be a utter pile of crap, or too deep for ani comprehension :)
Well, i was very bored just now in the afternoon and i went to type the word "love" in www.dictionary.com and the meanings of "love" came out. Serveral meanings came out .. 6 to be exact! but the one that really caught my attention was >>> A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. <<< !! hard to understand ? haha, that's what i tot so at first? Wao chim but hey look at it in every part and put it together. It's simple to understand. It's a feeling thats "deep" to fully understand, which is tender and soft. Not something forceful and hard to accept. Something that "ineffable", so difficult to express that you often choke when you even try to say it. That feeling is that of attraction, like a magnet within you that pulls you towards your object of want, and of solicitude, where her/his pain is felt 10times on you, the care you have cant be contained. More often the feeling arises from friendship (dats why uve gotta be fwends b4 u become bgr?), arising frm her outward/inward attraction and lastly her "underlying oneness" or "underlying uniqueness" or "underlying wholeness". It's up to you to choose the meaning, but both mean something. So that's how the brain defines loves as. But Given a feeling such as love? Can you totally define it? Love is a feeling, a feeling cannot be understood by your brain, but felt with your heart! Can you ever define boredom? But u can feel boredom cant you? So can you really define love? Or can u just feel love? haha. funny rite? haha .. well it's just a tot!
I really have alot of stuff to write down here, not very sure why too. Guess like the flood gates opened and tons of tots just flowed into this tiny brain of mine! Wish i cld write all of it down, but if i do, this page will never end ... All i can say is that "dont hold back anything, for you never know when you'll forget abt it and never let it be known. by then, it's too late, too late for anything to be done! Every minute is a opportunity, every second is a chance, make what you feel be known, make yourself clear. Cause if you dont, you'll just forget, and maybe, just maybe never be able to get it back.....
"
Guess that's the end of my blog? The week's been really fun. Class was fun aside from friday which totally drained me to the max, applied chem lesson. Took some neoprints on wednesday if im not wrong? maybe i'll try gettin the link up in my blog? the machine spoilt on us, guess i was inside dats why! Got jealous of me :P, or it was siti's fault!! but the class is gonna spilt again, sigh! kinda enjoyed this class really ... plus next term ive got specialisation modules, which is medical technology. NOt very sure if ichoose the correct thing? but once again im skeptical .. sigh!
Well .. i'll sign off here! Enjoy the week! Seeya
>> And i see you standing there <<
