Feb. 02, 2004 - 10.03a.m.
heyhey, itz 1003 now in the morning haha,and im at nelson's house now! wahaha, he's sleeping like a pig! tsk tsk! fell asleep last niight with my contacts on, eyes kind paining now. haha .... slept at like 3 last nite, but yet i woke up so early. Really didnt really sleep much at all, hahaha, i wonder why too, Guess lately dere's been alot of stuff on my mind? haha, even when i dream i dream of crappy stuff n ...... .. haha! ah well, Yesterday was a weird and f**ked up day for me. i feel i spoilt alot of pple's moods? ah well ... im sorry if i have alrite? => This past week has been full of happenings that i cant just explain in words .... often ponder as it rains, can i just stand in the rain and let the rain wash me clean of such worries and pain. Such thoughts and emotions that hurt me so. haha, childish thoughts ... if so everyone would be standing in the rain!! haha, think im turning weird! shld start mixing ard with non-weird people, might help abit! =p
Ok, yesterday i was on time for church. Like for once! well, cause i came on my own i guess =p. Sat behind with leonard and i enjoyed worship, like i always have! than after that i had a basketball outting with my cell group and bryan's cell group. Sigh, (mood explained) dat when Marcus's hp got stolen. And some more, i was the last person to account for the phone. He clearly asked me to like take good care of the phone and yet i didnt. Well, guess being a cell group leader, you never realise that the amount of responsiblity, respect and trust that those little guys place in you. Being their senior, the trust and respect that they have in you is something i wouldnt understand, but yet i didnt live up to it. I kinda broke that trust he placed in my to look after his phone, yet i didnt. The responsiblity that i have, well, i dont know? The basic fact that i hold accountable for those little future dudes, are quite big. I feel the strain on myself, just not trying to show it. Yet my face often gives it away. Sigh, i think im really begining to grow up. Haha, im learning alot of things that i never thought i might have? Responsiblity, haha not that i didnt know lah! i think .. but in a whole different area of being accountable for people, having to be someone whom people respect and trust. It not easy ... to be me! -bleah- .. nah it not easy ... not at all. But yet, the lesson im slowly learning is how i still rely on the wisdom of man, relying on my own abilities than God's endless wisdom and strength? was talking to Nelson and Kevyn abt it yesterday and both seem to have similarly views. wahaha, guess now i see how stubborn i really am! Pride is a stumbling block of man, especially those whom wanna seek God. For to Know you're truely just a weak person, and in knowing so acknowledgin tat God is strong, you'll have to do rid of thy pride and expose all weakness. And to do so is almost rendering one helpless, once again, pride stands in the way of absolutely giving yourself to God. -bleah- i like giving sermon liddat! might be able to replace David Ho Next time -_-". sigh .. looks like everyone will have to mature sooner or later, not saying that im not looking forward to it. But yet, scared of what it has instore for me ...
Ok, after that Kevyn came back to my place to wash up. Wahaha, den we saw our sec4 photo and started talkin abt our old sec4 days. -bleah-, come to think of it it's coming close to 1 and a half year! haha, still can remember soo much abt it. Best time of life! Haha, and dont believe dere were actually so much memories we had in tat 1 year. One clear memory was how we all sat behind and like talked? haha, rmb how last time during english lesson when we got bored, the back gang would all fall asleep, almost in synchrony ... -bleah-! like one. two. three. and *bang* .. all on the table sleeping! -shrugs- man!
After tat headed to town, shallnt talk much about tat cause it was quite sian! had sms and phone calls coming in abt how to handle Marcus's parents! Like F**K off(apologizes) lah, had enuff stress on my on, quit adding to it? Sigh .. aniway! so kinda went home and called his parents? Tats why i didnt wanna tok to anione before tat and looked kinda scary? really scared if i said anithing i would just lose my cool and blast at someone. gettin kinda short tempted now adays -_- But Marcus's dad was really understanding although he did give me a 15 minute lesson on public safety! -slap forehead- but he isnt gettin Marcus a hp? making him learn his lesson. And tat isnt fair since it isnt his fault? but more of our fault? if not totally mine ...
After tat i had dinner with my parents, had a family dinner since my bro was at home. den i head down to Pearlyn's BBQ! i went dere and got wet by nelson and kevyn ! and the other gurls! piang! was freezing when i left the place? -shrugss- did alot of thinking over dere, cause i spent half the time slacking ard with the guys lookin up into the sky! and didnt even eat! -hit forehead- okok .. den i headed to gardens to meet Tiff and Shanru, with nelson tat ish? haha, pretty unhappening at nite i guess! aside from the hot auntie at the market! she's soo sweet! -meltss-wahaha .. kk tat was gross! -_-
Oh well, looks like life just pretty down for most people. School affecting i guess? Shall just have to live with it! Pray for God to Give all of us Strength! He'll be there for us whenever we need Him! .. i know he will! he always is!
Haha, shall sign off here? Nothing much to write animore. Or is dere? haha, alot of stuff shld be left unknown! hahaa .. dats rubbish man! wad am i typing now adays! haha .. kk God bless and Take care![All.i.know.but.you.would.understand.the.things.that.i.couldnt.say]
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O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear;
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows,
As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand,
And, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand.
Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.
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[Listening: MLTR : Someday ...]
